August 2

“cat’s pajamas’ and “full of oneself.” I was immediately taken by the former (what a cute saying) but was not exactly sure what the latter meant. Obviously, being told that I was full of myself was not a compliment; that helped me begin to get a sense of the meaning. It seemed to me that if, while listening to you, I am thinking about myself, about what I want to say instead of listening to you, then I am full of myself.
 
But that is not nuanced enough. Sometimes, while listening to you, my mind is making connections between your experience and mine. Those thoughts help me empathize with you, enable me to relate with you at the level of feelings. A sense of similar experiences can lead to a fullness that is not self-centered. When we connect at that deeper level, each of us feels more understood, less alone.
 
After some time, I came up with an image to help me sense when I might be too full of myself. If I am acting like the sun, with most everything revolving around me, odds are I am full of something. But if I see you and me as planets in a similar orbit, being drawn to each other by a mysterious force of spiritual gravity, then perhaps I am less likely to be full of myself and more likely to be full of grace.