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When I was pregnant for the first time, Catherine worked in the office next to mine at Vanderbilt. As my condition became more and more evident, others would stop to congratulate me and tell me lovely stories of the joys of parenthood. Everyone painted motherhood in blissful colors – everyone, that is, except Catherine. She pulled me aside one day and said, “Yeah, there will be some good moments, but there will also be nights when you wear the carpet out walking a screaming child in circle around the room. There will be nights when you get no sleep, when you would do most anything if the baby would just stop crying. A baby isn’t all gurgles and smiles.”
Sure enough, my son had ear infections that kept both of us awake many nights. I remember walking and walking in those circles Catherine had mentioned until my son feel asleep. As I would begin to ease the two of us into a chair ever-so-slowly, his tiny body would tighten and the crying would begin again. Those nights Catherine’s words returned to me - and enabled me to get up and start walking again.
Mark, like Catherine, wanted people to know the unvarnished truth. Mark’s Gospel makes it painfully clear that following Jesus was not all about peace and joy; there would be pain and suffering. In today’s Gospel, we hear that Jesus was driven into the desert where he suffers physically and emotional for “forty days” - the Bible’s way of saying a long time. When he emerged from the desert, he had to deal with disciples who didn’t really understand him, religious leaders who cast aspersions on his teachings, and government officials who perceived him as a threat to their power. I wonder if Jesus didn’t spend some nights walking in circles.
St. Mark and St. Catherine knew there is a cost to living a loving life. During difficult time, their words assure me that such times are to be expected - and endured. I just need to keep walking - whether it be in circles around the room or the way of the cross.