Memories can be faulty - especially mine. Yet I vividly recall reading a story about two friends—one a Caucasian, the other a Native American. The Native American child ends up giving his friend a feather that means a great deal to him. He tells his friend that his tribe believes to truly have something, you must be willing to give it away.
I didn’t hear that message again for many years, until I started attending a Twelve Step meeting where the saying goes, “To have it, you have to give it away.” The “it” is recovery, the giving away entails sharing your experience, strength and hope with other people who have been affected by the family disease of addiction. To maintain my own recovery, I have to be willing to share my life, my story, with others.
Our religious tradition has a similar notion, simplified down to a single word—kenosis. We speak of Jesus emptying himself so that he could live a fully human life. We speak of following his example in our own lives. As best as I can make sense of kenosis in my life, it is about emptying myself of ego-driven programs to prove myself right, to earn love or respect, to control my life or the lives of others. Kenosis has something to do with surrendering my will and my life, with letting go of how I think my life or other people’s lives should be. Instead, by emptying out my ego, I can be filled with God’s Holy Spirit and thus able to accept - even love - myself, others, creation as is.
All I can say is, it would be easier to give away a feather (or its equivalent in our tribe). It would even be easier to sponsor someone in Al-Anon! Kenosis seems to me to be a life-long process - and one that can only happen with amazing grace.