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Lying in bed (which may be grammatically correct but makes me think of telling lies while in bed), I came up with three books:
Man’s Search for Meaning not only tells the story of Viktor Frankl’s experiences in a Nazi concentration camp, it also develops his theory that having a sense of meaning allowed people to endure the trauma experienced in those camps. What struck me was Frankl’s insistence that the meaning of a person's life was very specific and concrete. One could find meaning in a relationship, in work, in a way of life - and the meaning of one’s life could change as one aged.
Sometime later, I read Pride and Prejudice. I was struck with yet another insight that affected me deeply. The main character, Elizabeth Bennett, has to come to terms with the fact that she is as guilty of prejudice as Mr. Darcy is of pride. Only when she acknowledges her own shortcoming and Darcy realizes his shortcoming can love flow between them. To use a phrase common in Twelve Step work, Elizabeth needs “to clean up her side of the street.” The fact that I need to look at my role in any difficult relationship, rather than simply blaming the other, has helped me again and again in life.
Finally, Awareness by Anthony de Mello shook me up by suggesting I would rather “stay asleep” in my culturally conditioned understandings than “wake up” to deeper reality. For example, I have been conditioned to understand love as a feeling I may have for only a few people, but that is a narrow understanding of love. If shaken out of my “sleep,” I “wake up” to a Love that is more spacious and not really tied to my feelings.
The question given to me that morning helped me remember the importance of calling to mind what gives meaning to my life, of being willing to acknowledge my own shortcomings and of questioning my way of thinking. Now I wonder: What books have most influenced you?