September 22nd

The Beatitudes confuse me—and that’s a problem since they are central to Jesus’ teaching.  But just take the first three, why is it blessed to be poor in spirit, to mourn, to be meek?   I tend to think I would rather be rich in spirit, happy, and at least somewhat assertive.  A friend suggested I try taking each beatitude separately—and personalize it.  So here’s my first attempt:
 
        Blessed am I when I am poor in spirit, for then mine is the kingdom of God.  Perhaps being poor in spirit means being poor in my own spirit, my egotistical way of seeing and doing things.  Perhaps being poor in spirit means being less willful, more open to God’s spirit.  If I turn matters in my life over to the care of God, might I dwell, as my younger friends say, in a different head space?  Could that head space, that level of consciousness, be the kingdom—or, at the very least, closer to the kingdom of God?
 
        I like to test such musings against real experience.  There was a time when I was finally willing to turn my will and my life over to the care of God—a time when I stopped trying to figure things out and fix them.  It didn’t come naturally or easily.  In fact, it took the support of a community to help me face the fact that my way of handling things was not working.  I was told that if I quieted myself and sought help, I could find it.  I could respond differently, act out of a different head space!  And darn if it didn’t work.  The problems I faced did not disappear, they were not fixed in the way I willfully would have fixed them, but I was able to face them with more courage and grace.  Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they can get a taste of the kingdom of God.