April 26

The Biblical phrase of walking “through the shadow of death” adequately described my mental state of mind. Like the disciples on the road to Emmaus, I was completely unable to see Christ walking beside me.
 
Oddly, I can pinpoint the moment when things changed. Turning off Tyne Boulevard, I saw a host of red tulips, dancing to the music of the breeze. “With that, my eyes were opened.”  It was like that moment in The Wizard of Oz, when the film goes from black and white to full color. Vitality broke through the bleakness. I rolled down the car window, letting in the smell of freshly mowed grass.  For the first time in weeks, I smiled.
 
The sight of swaying tulips created a crack in the gloominess - that was how the Light got in. Nothing had really changed in my life situation - except me. Radiance had revealed itself - if only for moment, if only in red tulips - and that was enough. Whenever I see red tulips, I am reminded not of the sadness of that time, but of the wonder of the change the tulips/grace wrought in me. A line from an old song comes to mind, “It only takes a moment to be loved your whole life long.”