July 5

I pray regularly for knowledge of it and the courage to carry it out, but I rarely feel I get a definite response. Sometimes a bit of insight comes to mind, but mostly I agree with Thomas Merton - “The fact that I think I am following (God’s) will does not mean that I am actually doing so.”
I haven’t had that problem recently - it seems abundantly clear to me that many people are tired of injustice and that I am called to participate in concrete ways to change the systems that re-enforce racism. Didn’t Jesus challenge us to love others, particularly those who are disadvantaged? If I understand Jesus’ teaching to express God’s will, then the matter is crystal clear.
Yet the clear call to love my neighbor as myself leads to another question - how? What exactly does love mean in that context? Surely it is not an emotion  - I don’t always have positive feelings for the people closest to me, for my own family members! Biblically speaking, I think loving my neighbor implies recognizing their dignity, treating them with respect whether I like them or not, helping them when they are in need. 
How do I do that in this particular situation, this time in our nation’s history? Once again, the response was clear - but this time the response came in the form of Jesus’ actions rather than his teachings. It is through love that is willing to sacrifice. If I am to love as Jesus loved, I need to be ready to suffer. Institutions and my way of life are going to need to change.
Jesus didn’t want to drink the cup of his passion; at some point I may find myself asking God to let a cup pass away from me. I ask you, my brothers and sisters, to hold me accountable for ending any such prayer with the words, “not my will, but God’s will be done.”