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An elderly friend taught me a trick that freed me from the pain I felt in the relationship I had with that person. “I just say ‘and that’s what you think’ when someone says something that annoys me.” I tried silently reciting the phrase in my mind. The next time I was with the annoying person, I tried saying it interiorly - and it worked like a charm. Those few words gave me enough space and time to short-circuit my involuntary, usual reaction. I was quite grateful.
Years later, I figured out I could use that phrase with other people as well, people who were not as likely to upset me, but could on occasion get on my nerves. “And that’s what you think” allowed me to hear what was being said from a different perspective, a more realistic perspective. If the words that were annoying me were simply one person’s opinion, that was not a big deal. I found there was often no need to try to change that one person’s outlook or any need to defend myself in some way from what was being said.
Very recently, I found yet another use for that nifty, helpful little phrase - I say it to myself. When my mind starts taking me down a familiar, unproductive path; I simply say to my mind “that’s what you think.” Usually I am able to detach from the unhealthy narrative. I feel more in touch with Reality, less anxious. At least, that’s what I think.