The Sacrament of Reconciliation

The teachings of the Catholic Church on the sacrament of reconciliation might be summarized in the following points:

• The movement of return to God, called conversion and repentance, entails sorrow for and abhorrence of sins committed, and the firm purpose of sinning no more in the future (CCC 1490).
• The sacrament of Penance is a whole consisting in three actions of the penitent and the priest's absolution. The penitent's acts are repentance (contrition), confession or disclosure of all mortal sins to the priest, and the intention to make reparation and do works of reparation. Without all of these elements, there is no sacrament (1491).
• For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter [specified by the 10 Commandments] and which is also committed with full knowledge [that it is gravely evil] and deliberate consent" (1857).

• Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1422-1498 (Link)
• Read "A Guide to the Sacrament of Reconciliation" for practical, step-by-step instructions on how to go to confession (PDF).
• Read theologian Herbert McCabe's important essay on whether the sacrament changes God or changes us in this chapter of God, Christ, and Us (PDF).
• CTK's own Bob O'Gorman provides a nice overview of confession in The Idiot's Guide to Catholicism (PDF).
• Sacramental theologian Thomas Richstatter provides a more historical perspective in The Sacraments (PDF).

One of the first things we do together at Mass is to share our sorrow for the wrongs we've done and the goods we've failed to do, and to ask the Lord for pardon and for peace. Usually we pray the Kyrie: "Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy." Sometimes we pray what's called the Confiteor, a prayer that begins, "I confess, to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned..." (Check out the full text.)

We all screw up from time to time. We all do things that make others' lives harder to bear. Often these actions are mostly accidental. Sometimes they're on purpose, but under the influence of confusing feelings and motivations. Only rarely do we cause others harm out of clear-sighted malice. And as we all know, when we hurt others, if we want to make things right, we must begin by apologizing. 

• Take a minute and think about the last time you apologized to someone. Why did you apologize? What were the circumstances? What did it feel like to apologize? How did the other person react? 

Apologies are gesture of good will. They show the other person that we recognize that our actions were inappropriate, unskilled, harmful. And they show that we acknowledge our own responsibility for what we've done. 

• Take another minute and remember a time when you were offered an insincere apology. What did it feel like to listen to someone apologize without meaning it? How did you decide it was insincere? What did the apology lack?

Apologies are a first step, but they're only a step. We can use our words to tell people that we regret causing harm, but these words quickly lose their meaning if we don't attempt to repair the damage we've done. Healing a broken relationship takes good intentions, but it also requires time, effort, skillfulness, and the help of others. This is true for human relationships; it is even more true for our relationship with God.

• Take a final minute to reflect on the mercy of God who, while we are still sinning, offers us forgiveness. If we find that we are sorry for the wrongs we've done, it's because God has first touched our hearts with the divine love. Is there anything for which you need to ask forgiveness? In a few words, express your apologies to God, in the assurance that God already knows and already forgives.